Time to Listen
Posted: December 10, 2007 Filed under: Mentoring with Mom, Work at Home Entrepreneur | Tags: daughters, Family, home business, relationships, teens, time, work at home 6 Comments »“Mom, I’m so glad we live here.”
I was taking a walk with my daughter and enjoying the late afternoon sun.
“Oh really?” I said. “Why do you say that?”
I resisted the temptation to launch into my own opinions on the matter of living here. When your teen chooses to share an opinion it’s a good idea to listen.
“Well, not only is it really beautiful here, but I feel our family has grown a lot closer.” She answered.
I caught my breath just a little. This hasn’t been expressed before by my daughter.
“In what ways?” I asked.
“I’m a lot closer to Dad now that he spends time at home with us.” She said.
My mind went to the day about a month ago when my mother called me into her room. She lives in our spare bedroom and has a corner view out onto the garage and front yard. Mom pointed to John and his youngest daughter working together processing the buck he had shot in back of our land. She was learning some practical skills as she helped him. My mother had turned to me and said, “That’s really special. How many girls get to spend time with their father like that?”
But now my daughter was expressing the same thing in her own words.
She smiled at me as we turned to head home. “I also feel closer to you too, Mom.”
“But I’ve always been home with you kids.” I replied as I gave her a quick squeeze around the shoulders. “What’s different now?”
She seemed to be thinking for a moment as our steps started to go in sync.
“I think it’s the projects that we do together. Our family is working toward common goals and we work together. We do our own thing but we aren’t gone to different places all the time.”
As parents, we don’t always get such clear feedback from our kids. It was very encouraging for me to hear her thoughts. I felt motivated to keep working on ways to help our kids develop multiple streams of income and work-at-home creativity. There are moments I feel inclined to take the conventional route and wish for the illusion of security in a punch-the-clock job that requires no challenge other then the demand you show up at work even on days you don’t want to.
But my daughter’s comment bolstered me.
Toward your work at home success!
Karen Skoog
What a wonderful confirmation that you are where
you have been called to be.
I will remember your wise advice to stay silent when your teen begins to share. It is hard to stay quiet when we have so much life experience to share. But you know, there will be a time for that,, later. Now is the time to listen when they begin to open up.
What a wonderful confirmation of what is right in your life. We are still moving in the “bring Dad home” direction and I know our youngest two will be the beneficiaries of this accomplishment when it occurs.
I know that our oldest three still get good bits of this as our attitude and converstations reflect our goal. Since our oldest moved out and married this past year, we have been recipient of such conversations that include the “I’m so glad you raised us as you did.” “I can’t believe how people are so stuck in ‘inside the box’ thinking.” “When I have kids, I want them to be raised with both parents working together in a family business.”
My heart warms to these sentiments and I find myself relaxing with the remaining four who are still in the home. No matter what the difficulties we may face, I know that we have given them a strong foundation and a direction to look towards that many in the world just don’t understand.
Thanks for sharing this special moment with us. You’ve done good!!!
Karen and John, this is a great blog. I am encouraged and inspired by your writing. Though our children are already grown and gone from home, we are working towards bringing my husband home from corporate America. We love to work together on projects and look forward to many days of doing just that.
As caregivers ourselves, I was interested to note that one of your parents lives with you. That’s wonderful.
Keep writing and sharing your story. We’re listening!
Blessings,
Joan
Caregiver at Home
http://www.CaregiverEncouragement.com/
Karen,
Your story warmed my heart and made me appreciate anew the opportunity my husband and I have had to homeschool our sons and teach them to work in our real estate investment business. The closeness it has brought our family is a valuable gift. It pains me to hear people talk about how distant their teenagers are from them. I hear comments from parents in the grocery store during school holidays about how they can’t wait for school to start back so they won’t have to deal with their children all day, and it makes me want to cry. They don’t know what they are missing.
I’ve just bookmarked your blog! We’ve had it on our hearts to do the same thing and trying to learn from others to (if the Lord wills) do the same thing. I have 2 boys, with one more interested in technical/design and the other in anything outdoors.
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.